To find out or not to find out? That is the question.
My mother is old school. She thinks that the baby’s gender should be a surprise at birth. I am struggling with this notion.
First of all (and I think the most important reason) I am having a lot of anxiety about being prepared for the baby and knowing what to buy and when.
I feel like there is nothing in our house that is a visual reminder that the baby is coming and that I can’t buy anything until the baby is born (or until we find out).
I tried to remedy this by having a day at the shops and allowing myself to buy a couple of small gender neutral things for the baby.
This was a good idea in theory.
After going into a couple of shops I quickly realised that everything worth buying is gender specific. The things that are not gender specific are either grey or yellow and I don’t want all my babies things to be these colours. I want my babies room and belongings to be full of colour and life.
I am finding it hard to be excited about nesting when I can’t buy any of the things I really want to. It makes waiting for the baby to come seem so much more daunting knowing that as soon as its born we can finally go and buy all those cute dresses or outfits.
I mean, I doubt that I will be feeling up to going out to the shops in the first weeks of the baby’s life.
And plus, it seems like waiting til the baby is born to buy everything would bring a lot of financial issues. (As apposed to buying things slowly)
All these reasons aside, I think I just want to know.
I hope that finding out if it is a boy or a girl will enable me to bond even more with my baby and enable me to mentally prepare (and daydream) about its future.
My 20 week scan is only a month away. I am pretty sure that we will be finding out. I just hope that my parents are not disappointed in me for being impatient.
P.S (I think it’s a girl)